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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 1999
    Melbourne, Australia

    Talking Beer study

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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    ! holy crap that is almost more true than funny

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    haha, i was getting abit worried.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2000

    I remember that one.

    Friend of mine sent me that one and also the following:

    follow our emails on one lazy afternoon ...

    After the first few lines most geeks wont be able to stop reading

    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.
    I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
    In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as PokerNight 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

    I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

    Please help!
    Thanks, A Troubled User


    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem about which men are complaining.
    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
    Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
    It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0.
    It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this.
    Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child-Support.
    I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation.
    I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
    Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs,
    such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
    However, be very careful how you use these programs.
    Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag Nag 9.5.
    Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software.
    I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

    DO NOT, under any circumstance, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.
    This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,
    Tech Support ...
    "I know nothing."

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